What A Beautiful Mess This Is.

I'm not sure if I feel like my life is falling apart at the seams, or if it's just really beginning.

All I know is that today, I'm thankful for the things I can't put into words.

And I'm so grateful that someone was willing to hold me yesterday, while I dry heaved my snotty nose and tears all over them. 

I'm really good at handling things, until there's some sort of opposition.

And I don't want to feel weak, but I know my heart is sensitive for a reason.

And I don't want to carry these burdens and lies I keep telling myself, but they're all I've ever known. 

And now you're calling me to live in freedom, and security in You, and who You say I am.

And that's scary.

Please just tell me healing is out there.

And that one day, I'll be the strong woman I've always wanted to be.

Because yesterday, I just couldn't be strong.

So I wept.

And today, I'm not feeling too strong either.

But I know I'm in the place I need to be to experience the healing my heart longs for.

I've got freedom on my mind.