Love for your money.

Sometimes, it literally feels like too much for my emotions to handle that some people have so much, and others have so little.

I got a $300 medical bill in the mail today, and with no money to pay it, I had to call my mom and dump that problem on her. My mom, who can't even afford her medicine, and has hospital bills that probably total over a million dollars. 

So what do I do? Do I call the people I know with money and beg for a loan, knowing they will hold me accountable to paying back every penny? 

Do I abandon this dream of living radically for the sake of my family?

And then there are people around me who are missing meals and going hungry. Meanwhile, the people in their mansions on the hills of Honolulu are looking down and they don't see the poverty of the people.

So while mass amounts of Americans were out shopping last night for things they probably don't need, I was out camping on the north shore of Hawaii,  surrounded by homeless people, just trying to survive.  Sleeping 10 ft from the nicest man I know who woul give you the sweater off his back, and die of hypothermia in the process, if it meant you weren't so cold. Yet, this man has absolutely no money and is missing meals. 

The world's just not fair. And I can't save him, because in a month, that person with no money will be me.   

I don't know what I am doing anymore.