Are you ok with you?

And just you?

Response.

I think it's interesting to think about the things I wanted 4 years ago or even 6 months.

I was husband hungry, or at the very least desperate for affection and someone to listen and confirm the fact that I was witty, or interesting, or even pretty.

And then I went to Hawaii.

And I found myself in a relationship that, at first, was everything I wanted.

And 1 month in, I realized it wasn't.

It wasn't the person, because to this day, I still think he is a solid guy.

And it wasn't that I fell in love with someone else, because that didn't happen either.

I just realized that the things I had thought I wanted all along, were now becoming the things that would hold me back from a dream.

And I realized I couldn't stop, I couldn't slow down, and I couldn't change for anyone. 

So the relationship ended, and I started to fly solo. Which is basically what I've known for the past 19 years I've been alive.

But this time, everything was different.

My perspective had changed in literally every way possible.

Yes, I still want to be loved.

Yes, I still want someone to vent to at the end of a terrible day.

Yes, I still want to be told I'm beautiful.

But I don't need those things anymore within the context of a relationship.

Because what isn't stressed enough about relationships is that they take work, and they require sacrifice.

And at this point in my life, I don't have that to give.

And I won't for a while.

Because right now, those child prostitutes, and dying children around the world mean WAY more to me than any guy could.

So, here's to waiting for the right guy.

And being okayyyyyy with being alone, and not being bitter about the fact that I am.

Because, one day, I'll be in the right place at the right time.

And I'll meet someone who is JUST as passionate about loving people as I am.

I have big dreams for the person he will be.

But right now, I'm not ready for that person to be a part of my life. 

So why should I complain about another dateless friday? 

Because artificial relationships only end in heartbreak anyway.