one million & one.

I want 1,000,001 reasons to persuade you to believe what I believe.  I want to believe that what I believe is 100% percent right & never waver from it.  If only life were that simple.  If only I were Billy Graham and I could inspire people to come to Christ in the masses.  I truly have a mad desire for people to know God like I do.  To be swept off their feet & head-over-heels in love.   The problem is, I don't have 1,000,001 reasons to make you believe God is the Creator, all-powerful, all-knowing, forgiving, & full of love to pour out on His people.  I know I'm one of those people & I want the people I come across to know that they are also.  I know what I believe in my heart, but, truth be told, I wasn't one of those people who fought against religion.  I wasn't forced to be a christian; it was my choice.  So with knowing that, it didn't take theological facts to win me over.  Some people need that.  My issue is that I can't supply it.  I can go on for hours about God's love, yet I can't even give you 10 reasons as to why I know God is the Way, Truth, & Life.  This leads to my next issue.  What college do I choose; The private, Christian college or the less expensive, public one?  They both offer the major that I want and have the city lifestyle I love.  I could probably work hard to receive full ride scholarships to both.  Money is not the issue, and neither is staying close to home.  The issue is a personal one.  If I go to a Christian college, I'll most likely learn what I really have a desire to learn, but I'll be away from the people who I could be showing God's love & light to, who don't already know Him, if I were in a public college.  This decision is weighing down my heart & I just started junior year.  I have over a year to decide, but I start to feel nauseous at the thought of choosing a college.  It's a lovely reassurance to know God has a plan, but who knows when he'll answer my prayer?  Growing up is difficult.