one million & one.

I want 1,000,001 reasons to persuade you to believe what I believe.  I want to believe that what I believe is 100% percent right & never waver from it.  If only life were that simple.  If only I were Billy Graham and I could inspire people to come to Christ in the masses.  I truly have a mad desire for people to know God like I do.  To be swept off their feet & head-over-heels in love.   The problem is, I don't have 1,000,001 reasons to make you believe God is the Creator, all-powerful, all-knowing, forgiving, & full of love to pour out on His people.  I know I'm one of those people & I want the people I come across to know that they are also.  I know what I believe in my heart, but, truth be told, I wasn't one of those people who fought against religion.  I wasn't forced to be a christian; it was my choice.  So with knowing that, it didn't take theological facts to win me over.  Some people need that.  My issue is that I can't supply it.  I can go on for hours about God's love, yet I can't even give you 10 reasons as to why I know God is the Way, Truth, & Life.  This leads to my next issue.  What college do I choose; The private, Christian college or the less expensive, public one?  They both offer the major that I want and have the city lifestyle I love.  I could probably work hard to receive full ride scholarships to both.  Money is not the issue, and neither is staying close to home.  The issue is a personal one.  If I go to a Christian college, I'll most likely learn what I really have a desire to learn, but I'll be away from the people who I could be showing God's love & light to, who don't already know Him, if I were in a public college.  This decision is weighing down my heart & I just started junior year.  I have over a year to decide, but I start to feel nauseous at the thought of choosing a college.  It's a lovely reassurance to know God has a plan, but who knows when he'll answer my prayer?  Growing up is difficult.

Passion

I've never met someone I love more than Jacob Vargas.  He is ultimately the most amazing friend I will ever know.  So when I said today, "What is your passion, Jacob?" and he laughed, I knew he was going to give me the answer I was looking for.  I assume he knew why I was asking because he's my best friend and best friends know the reason for these types of questions.  His answer was music, which fits him perfectly.  Naturally, his question was "what is yours?"  This is where the dilemma begins.  He probably knew what was coming before he asked.  I launched in to my 10-minute story about how I know this girl who is just so talented & I hate it.  She appears to have multiple passions whereas, I feel as if I have none.  I finally got to a pause in my story where Jacob stated, "I feel like I'm talking to my younger self."  Apparently, Jacob used to have the same issue.  Then, he prayed about it & God answered.  I realized today that I was holding this major part of my life back from God.  I was pursuing the passions I wanted to pursue, not seeking after God to see the passions He gave me.  I find performing arts so interesting, but maybe that's not what God wants for my life.  Jacob encouraged me to pray about it and wait.  So, here I sit.  Listening to Death Cab for Cutie while eating bland pasta at my kitchen table.  I have to align my will with God's to see my passions in life more clearly.  Hopefully, a year from now, I'll know just what I'd love to spend my life doing; what makes my heart happy and puts a real smile on my face.  Until then, I'll be praying about it.  Thanks Jacob, but most of all, thank You God.

Came to my Rescue

Tonight had to be among the best night's of my life.  Naturally, any night you're surrounded by 5 other girls who let you cry on their shoulder with your snot going everywhere, or talk for hours about how much your husband is going to rock is a good night.  Tonight, I came back to Jesus.  I guess I never stray too far away, but this past week, I was definitely being pushed.  I could have fought harder than a quarterback in the Superbowl.  I could have pushed right back and screamed and cried until I was in the comfort of the ultimate Comforter again.  But, because I chose to give up, I spent the last week fighting depression because I thought God was NOT being fair.  My grandpa took his last breath two weeks ago with my lovely grandma, the love of his life, less than 5 feet away.  I knew I couldn't fight God with that one.  In the words of Roger Cohen, "Life without death would be miserable. Its beauty is bound to its fragility. Dawn is unimaginable without the dusk."  Everyone has to die, and I know I'll see my grandpa again someday as the perfect picture of healthiness.  Death is difficult, but we were making it through.  Then, this past Wednesday, my grandma called and said she had been in a car accident.  She claimed to be okay even though her car had been totaled.  The battle began.  Why was this happening to her?  WHY?  WHY?  WHY?  Isn't losing your husband and taking on the title of widow enough for one women to deal with for a few months?  I was extremely upset with God and I planned to fall away out of spite, which is extremely stupid.  Luckily, my God is awesome and He seeked me out.  I didn't deserve it in the slightest but He did it anyway.  I was led to Mark 12 in my bible where it talks about The Widow's Offering.  God has taken numerous things from my grandma's life in the past two weeks, but she still chooses to serve & love Him.  If she can do that, then I can.  I have to believe God has great things in store for her because "the testing of your faith develops perseverance."  James 1:3 

To continue my story about tonight; I was sitting around a fire with the 5 amazing girls, praising God through worship when we decided to play Came to my Rescue.  I broke down without tears. 

"I called, You answered

& You came to my rescue

& I wanna be where You are."

As much as I didn't want to, I was calling, and God, always Faithful, answered rather quickly.  Perhaps, He saw how much I needed Him.  Either way, He came to my rescue right in time.

My goodness, He's awesome. 

Thank you.

Dear Modest Women of the World,

Thank you for protecting my future husband's eyes.  I appreciate it.

Sincerely,
Casey Daniels

Sincerity

“What is uttered from the heart alone, Will win the hearts of others to your own.”

-Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

Sincerity; I'm working toward it.

I want to mean what I say and say what I mean.  For as long as I've been conscious of the words that are coming out of my mouth, I've strived to please everyone.  There are few instances I can remember where I bluntly offended someone.  That means I've trained my mouth to tell people what they want to hear.  The problem I have is telling people lies.  About what I'm feeling, how I'm doing, how they look, etc.  Everyday at work, someone asks me how I'm doing.  I think I've always said something positive, but that's not true.  My grandpa died August 26 and I went to work the next day.  I was asked multiple times, "How are you?", with the other person having no idea what was going on in my life.  My reply every single time that day was "I'm good, you?"  That was a lie.  I wasn't good.  I was struggling with everything but, I put on a good face because who wants to hear my issues?  Maybe people sensed it was fake, maybe not.  I could have said I was terrible and nothing could change that but time.  That would have been sincere.  Like I said, I'm working towards it.