These.

Putting my foot in my mouth,
liking party boys,
and strep throat tests.
THESE ARE A FEW OF MY LEAST FAVORITE THINGS!

So, here's what I'd say to these people that led to this blog.

Person 1: I'm really sorry. I'll try to stay in line, keep my pettiness to myself, and realize that this bothers you.
Person 2: Do you have to be so attractive? That's a rhetorical questions. I mean, you've really proved me wrong this year, and that makes it hard not to like you, because you're actually a pretty nice guy. But let's be real. The guy that parties every Friday night doesn't like the girl that spends her Friday's watching children's movies with her brother. It's just a fact of life.
Person 3: I think you're a really great doctor, but if you want to put the long q-tip down my throat for a swab, I'm going to lose my mind, and possibly punch you, and it's not going to be pretty. Thanks for making me feel better when I'm sick though.

There I go again.

I was thinking about all the things I'll miss when I no longer live in Washington.

Like winter sunshine.

And Denny's with friends.

And long walks with dogs that aren't mine.

And teachers that buy you donuts.

And friends.

I'm really going to miss it here.

To Micah.

I'm going to have a house full of kids and children's books and types of tea. I'm going to give out lots of kisses and hugs and advice. I'm going to read to them, and hold them in my arms until they are too big for that to be possible. I'm going be happy, even though every day is bound to be a financial challenge. I'm going to have a husband who I only get sick of talking to on occassion and who is willing to debate with me on things and tell me I'm wrong when I am, but never ever thinks of me as a subordinate. I'm going to own a dog and take it for walks. Lots of walks. I'm going to welcome anyone and everyone into my home for food, warmth, and love. This is what I'm going to do. What are you going to do?

Growth.

As I look back through my old blogs, I realize I've learned so much.

I also think I've whined a little too much too, but that whining that I look upon with a grimace, well, that was growth as well.

As far as what's going on in my life right now, I'm learning a lot about how to love Jesus and love people, and how those interrelated loves affect my views of other people and of myself.

My views on a wide variety of issues have altered this year.

I have recently come out as a liberal, which was a little bit scary, and a lot exciting.

Since then, I've kind of soared.

I'm more comfortable with doing my own thing, forming my own beliefs and opinions, rather then being molded into a clone.

With the path I was going, I was on track towards becoming a Bible-thumping Evangelical Conservative Republican.

Instead, I molded my Jesus loving self with my beliefs, and became a Bible-thumping, Jesus loving, Liberal Democrat.

I know a lot of people probably won't agree with some of my views, but I'm more confident in my faith then I ever was.

And this is after I made a PowerPoint about how religion will be the downfall of our society, and how people use the bible to justify their actions.

I can't really explain the increase in faith that was at a low earlier this year, but it's nice.

Finally, I am blossoming.

Jack Johnson.

I like dreaming of the world Jack Johnson paints in his songs.

Where people stay in love,

and dads stick around to raise their kids,

and people love people.

It's possible; I know it is.

"Be the change you wish to see in the world."

When does it get easier?

When we've packed our bags and moved 3,000 miles away?

Love, Love, Love.

"You're a whore,

You're a whore,

You're a whore.

Love, Love, Love, Love"

I thought maybe I shouldn't post this, but here I am, ready to hit that wonderful orange button with the word "Publish" to reveal my true feelings about love, men, and the whole shebang.

It's hard to believe in marriage when all you've seen is failure.

Mona Lisa, Smile.

I don't think about marriage much anymore.

I still do on occasion, but I guess it's just been crowded out as of late due to the important decisions I have to make soon.

I'm still stoked about the idea that one day, I'll be loved and love some incredible man.

I guess it's just not as important now.

I've been taking in a lot of things around me that are portrayed with a feminist lens.

& well.

You might be disappointed.

I know I'll get married one day, but what if it's not til I'm 30? Or 40? 0r 50?

I know what I'm meant to do.

I'm meant to love people.

I sincerely believe the world revolves around love, but love comes in all different shapes and forms.

I know I can love people based on the love I've been given.

Even if it's not the kind of love I first dreamt of after watching Titanic.

So, here's to the single life, and enjoying it.

Not anticipating some man coming along to sweep me off my feet and marry me within a year's time.

He'll come when he comes.

There's no rush.

I have a lot of lives to change in the meantime.

No Stress, No Success.

The play, the newspaper, finals.

They all fall within two weeks of each other.

I really want to give up, but it's just not me to fail.

So, I'll stress.

I'll miss classes to finish editing the paper.

I'll cry under the pressure of senior year final grades.

I'll scream when I complete my FAFSA, because the state thinks we make bank, but they don't realize the situation we are in.

And then, all at once, it'll be over.

Then, we'll try this no stress thing again.

Ireland

This picture from asofterworld.com took me back to my favorite day in Ireland.

One's the outsde and one's the inside, but I still (nerdily) find it cool that I've been there.:)

How long has this been going on?

I'm full of reasons not to like you.

I still do.

Nothing to Say.

But, I miss you.

& I also kind of miss being listened to.

& listening.

Some friends are irreplaceable.

On Religion.

I could write a whole blog about what I've "learned" the past two days, but it wouldn't be nice, so here's what I took out the most.
"If Jehovah is a god of love, how can people burn in hell?"

To which my response was......
"If your Jehovah is a god of love , why would he make you and all your family followers shun their daughter, their sister, their niece, their granddaughter."

I just...want to love God.
But I don't want to do it self-righteously,
or condemning-ly,
or forcefully.
I know it's possible. Show me how.
& give me grace for the people I love, despite our vastly different views.