Trivial

My last post really annoys me. I think it's because it's childish, in so many ways. Love is waiting, and it's not a 17-year old boy who is more consumed with himself and getting his friends to laugh at one of his crazy antics. So, to remind myself of that and to convince you blog readers that I'm not getting crazy, I made a list of a few of the things love means to me.
Love means waking up early to pick up a friend that lives 20 minutes away.
Love means folding another person's laundry.
Love means sacrifice of time, money, effort.
Love means sending inspirational texts even if the person fails at replying. Sorry guys.
Love means listening to a person rant when their life seems perfect.
Love means bringing peaches.
Love means acceptance.
I'm surrounded by love and I'd hate to let it slip away, because it's not the love I dream of.
In fact, I don't think I'd be able to love at all if not for the love given to me these past few months.
So, thank you.
P.S. I will not delete my last post, but do me a favor and ignore the trivial content.

"He's Got Me. Again"

I walked up on to stage with shaky legs and a rapidly beating heart.

I faced my fear.

I looked in to the enomoursely large green eyes of a guy I've found attractive since the 7th grade.

I said I loved him and dreamt of the day I would be his wife.

He said he felt the same.

I was the only girl he could ever be with, his one true love.

We awkwardly hugged as he said "With all my strength."

Then, we walked down the steps and back to our seats.

I didn't realize I'd think about it for the rest of the day or turn into a school-aged girl who sends her friend to do sleuth work.

I didn't realize I'd find myself attracted to every word he said and everything he did from that moment forward.

The sad part? This is the same guy who talked about "jacking off" right in front of me not two hours prior.

Reality sets in and it's brutal.

That's all I have to say about that subject.

Who is time to make us wait?

I continually stress myself out to a point that's unbearable.

I try to get involved with everything and fail at keeping my commitments.

Today being my prime example.

And everyday before it.

I like Fineman. She defends me and gives me options.

She's so loving.

I wouldn't have made it through today without her.

So, on that note, this is going to turn into a gushing session about how much I love my drama teacher.

She believed in me from the start.

She pushed me to grow.

She taught me how to act.

She awkwardly hugged me when I needed it even though she's not a toucher.

She gave me apples when I forgot my lunch.

She threatened to get the people that hurt me in trouble.

Did I mention I love this lady?

Because I do.

It should go noted that I also love Micah Vargas for being my best friend and keeping me sane.

<3

Live and Let Go.

I write you from this grounded aeroplane
I wonder how you've been and where you are
A letter to the one who slipped away
A letter for the things that never start
Oh my imagination running wild
Guess I missed you from the day that we first met
Crazy this fascination
Makes the sound like a twister in my mind
The restless dream we've left behind
I never will forget

This restless dream

It's funny how the words we never say
Turn into the only thoughts we knowBut Boston's just so very far away
I cannot believe I let you go

Oh my imagination running wild
Guess I missed you from the day that we first met
Crazy this fascination
Makes the sound like a twister in my mind
The restless dream we've left behind
I never will forget

This restless dream

And so I call to you from the darkness of my room
But you will never be a memory
No, you're a restless dream
My restless dream

So I write to this address that I don't know
You said you had to leave and we lost track
So if you hear this on the radio
I've said it now and there's no turning back

Oh my imagination running wild
I guess I missed you from the day that we first met
Crazy this fascination
Makes the sound like a twister in my mind
The restless dream we've left behind
I never will forget

This restless dream
This restless dream

The Physics of the Quest

"If you're brave enough to leave behind everything familiar and comforting, which can be anything from your house to bitter, old resentments, and set out on a truth-seeking journey, either externally or internally, and if you are truly willing to regard everything that happens to you on that journey as a clue and if you accept everyone you meet along the way as a teacher and if you are prepared, most of all, to face and forgive some very difficult realities about yourself, then the truth will not be withheld from you."

-Eat Pray Love

10 Positives.

1. Getting texts from random numbers and then realizing that random number is actually the number of someone very dear to your heart.
2. Running your heart out.
3. Having people that care.
4. Guys that don't know what to do about crying teenage girls.
5. My homecoming date is awesome.
6. People have been listening more.
7. A coach that believes in me
8. Feeling peace.
9. Knowing that in a year, you could be home.
10. Making that homeward bound step happen.
BONUS:
-Happiness.

Everyday is a struggle.

Last December, one of my blog posts talked about getting into the Christmas spirit.

"I'm thankful I have parents that are together," said the 6 year old I love.

I'm terribly sorry it couldn't stay that way.

I hate it as much as you do.

I say it's good.

I say I didn't like my step-dad anyway.

I say I'm fine.

I do like my new life, I really do.

But I also miss everything the word family meant for the past 14 years of my life.

And I worry about Joey.

Divorce Sucks.

Especially the second time around.

Charles.

When I watch Community, I think of you.

You look so much like that one guy, it's incredible.

It makes me regret never telling you just how handsome and wonderful I thought you were.

Maybe that's why we're only given so many years on this earth.

Every second offers a chance to say what's on your mind, to say how you feel, and to change someones day, life, eternity for better or for worse.

So, I vow to say what's on my mind even if people aren't listening, or don't care, or think I'm weird for it. But only if its for the better. Or needs to be said for the better of me.

I will not be pushed around.

I will not be judged.

I will be the person I've always wanted to be.

What she couldn't do, I will.

Dillusion.

I felt I was blooming, because I felt accepted.

Then, I lost some stupid popularity contest for a plastic crown and a title that no one will remember, and I suddenly felt wilted. Or drowned.

Needless to say, I have a lot to learn.

And I am blooming. But, I can't bloom based on anyone's standards, but my own.

I'll always be the tall, blonde, gangly, awkward kid I was in the 7th grade, but I have people that love me for it.

That's a nice feeling.

Thanks for being one of them.

In Progress.

I'm blooming.

It's a wonderful feeling that I've never had before.

Quote of the day.

Life is not about the depth and quality of your blog.

It's about the quantity.

SO BLOG MORE PEOPLE!