"and you have this perfect record of never hitting an animal. That's how complicated it is."
M: I'm not sure I understood that.
C: Maybe it's because you've never hit an animal before.
M: "Okay, it's like I have a perfect driving record and he's the one ticket. The one thing holding me back."
When I was 14, I made a goal to not date til I was 16. I had just been in my second middle school relationship and he was a jerk. For the record, he still is. One of the few people I despise. I made the goal and told my mom about it. My freshmen year, this one guy thought I was the cat's meow. He meant a lot to me and it's still really difficult to talk about him, but for blog's purpose's, I will. Anyhow, meet this guy, he holds my hand, he asks me out, I say yes, thus going back on my goal. I won't even go into the stupidity of our week long relationship or the 2 month long relationship following it. It took me a year and a half to let said week long relationship and boy that came with it go. I cried on my best friends shoulders. A year later, she was dating him, when I was still crying over him. I was just a 15 year old. I had no idea what love was or why I wanted this relationship or another chance to show him I could be that girl. I realize now that he is extremely obsessive with girls he dates. I realized that after I texted him at least 23 messages after said best friend broke his heart. I went back on my goal twice in my freshmen year. I'm really happy I changed. When I did finally reach 16, first (thought) love was not waiting for me like he said he would when I was 14. He was pursuing my best friend. Leading to the conversation I had tonight with two best friends who would never date someone I had feelings for for OVER A YEAR, I realized I've gotten a lot stronger. I've made better friends. I've been saved. I've grown taller. I've learned that the man who will put a vintage ring on my finger to replace the heart-shaped one on their currently would have waited til 16, and now he'll wait til 18. He'd wait til I was ready, because he's 10000000% worth it. To explain the conversation more: When I turned 16 and realized no one was waiting, I decided I'd wait til 18. No biggie. Then, I befriended Madeleine Laney. If you want to hear her story, ask me, but she changed my life. She taught me the values of purity. She is amazing. We decided to undertake a guy fast together; hers ending in July and mine ending on my 18th birthday. Since beginning that guy fast, I've obviously had crushes, but I've been doing a lot better. I'm now at a point where guys are guys. With the exception of one. He's the animal in the middle of the road. He's the driving ticket. He's the one that is godly enough to be rooting me to be strong in my guy fast. He's pretty stellar, but now is not the time or place. Good thing I have friends encouraging me to stay strong. Plus, I've actually been reading my bible, which has helped tremendously. Maybe, by my 18th Birthday, I'll be so incredibly lost in the love of Jesus and being his bride, that guys won't even matter. Then, that prince can show up and we can revolve our life around the love of Jesus and showing it to everyone. We'll live happily ever after. The end.
For clarification, said animal/ticket is not the one I'm claiming as my prince. He's just a nice guy.
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