This is how it works. I think.

I just think there's something to be said for the vulnerable. 

My heart might shatter much more easily then I would like, but I'd rather feel things too deeply than not at all.

I don't believe loving someone could ever go to waste. 

I might say I love you too easily, and I might put my heart on the line only to have it run over by a runaway train, but I'd rather love people relentlessly, because they deserve it, than give up. 

I am in my feelings tonight.

Damn you, Coldplay. 

Are we there yet?

I shouldn't have to work this hard for a friendship. 

If you really wanted to be around me, you would be. 

And that's all I have to say about that. 

If I stay in one place, I lose my mind.

There will always be some longing within my soul to get very lost in the woods and to never find my way out. 

Living for the Thrill of It.

I like having a blog.

It's like maybe, if I put these words out there, for the world to see, the one person they are written about will see them too.

And then all the emotions I bottle up, and hold back, will already be out there for the world to feel.

And there would be nothing I could do to stop it.

Birds.

All the stars up in the sky
And the leaves in the trees
All the broken bits that make you jump up
And grassy bits in between
All the matter in the world is how much I like you.

Birds can fly so high, and they can shit on your head,

and they can almost fly into your eye, and make you feel so scared, 

but when you look at them, and you see that they're beautiful,

that's how I feel about you.

In too deep.

And Another.

I don't want to ever let my heart be so consumed by the things I don't have.

Because I have everything I could ever need.

And on top of that, I have the greatest people in the world to call my friends and family.

I'm going to make it.

Love for your money.

Sometimes, it literally feels like too much for my emotions to handle that some people have so much, and others have so little.

I got a $300 medical bill in the mail today, and with no money to pay it, I had to call my mom and dump that problem on her. My mom, who can't even afford her medicine, and has hospital bills that probably total over a million dollars. 

So what do I do? Do I call the people I know with money and beg for a loan, knowing they will hold me accountable to paying back every penny? 

Do I abandon this dream of living radically for the sake of my family?

And then there are people around me who are missing meals and going hungry. Meanwhile, the people in their mansions on the hills of Honolulu are looking down and they don't see the poverty of the people.

So while mass amounts of Americans were out shopping last night for things they probably don't need, I was out camping on the north shore of Hawaii,  surrounded by homeless people, just trying to survive.  Sleeping 10 ft from the nicest man I know who woul give you the sweater off his back, and die of hypothermia in the process, if it meant you weren't so cold. Yet, this man has absolutely no money and is missing meals. 

The world's just not fair. And I can't save him, because in a month, that person with no money will be me.   

I don't know what I am doing anymore.