Projection

Think with me for a second.

Who would you be if there were no negative outside influences?

I think about it a lot.

No one crushing my ambitions,

Telling me I'll never make it,

Encouraging me to smoke weed, drink beer, party all night.

Is it just me that has these thoughts?

And more importantly, who would I be?

It's nice knowing.

I'm never too far from grace.
That when that still small voice speaks, it will not be the last time. 
Sometimes, I'd just wish He'd roar. 
I know I'm screwing it all up.
I know I should be patient.
I know You have great things planned. 
I know I'm a failure, a klutz, a jerk, a back-stabber, a gossiper, a thief, a coveter, a sinner.
Yet, You still love me. 
I don't think any amount of theology will ever help me comprehend that. 

A story that needs telling.

Truth be told, the girl is lost. 

Loving her won't make a difference, because it's not your love she wants. 

It must get lonely there sometimes.

What makes a favorite?
I don't know, but I do have favorites.  One of them is this one episode of Scrubs.  A woman dies and her organs are given to three patients in need.  Everything seems swell, until they all die because the woman had rabies.  I'm not sure why it's my favorite.  Maybe cause it makes me cry.  Either way, it was what I needed today.  I watched, then right on cue with the beginning of How to Save a Life by the Fray, the tears came.  One line in particular stood out to me.
Right before the man who got the kidney dies, he says his feet are a little numb, but he still appears to be in perfect condition otherwise.  When my mom and I were driving back from Cheney, because my grandpa had little time left, she told me that was how you knew if someone was dying. When your body begins to shut down, it starts with the feet.  That night, my mom felt my grandpa's feet and said they were fine.  I remember hoping that it could just be over.  Just go on.  We'll be strong.  But I"m not strong.  I'd give anything to go back.  I relive this moment in my mind where he held my hand and told me he loved me and that I make him proud.  I replay it over & over & over.  But I don't want to remember his frail body.  I don't want to remember any if it.     

FOR GOODNESS SAKE WOMAN.....

BLOG!
Here's a quick summary to catch you up on the happenings of my eventful life.
1. I'll be leaving for Dublin, Ireland in 4 days.
2. I have a 6 hour layover in New York which excites me like no other.
3. I'm running for ASB president.
4. I hung out with Michelle Collison, Robert Wrigley & Ms. Presswood today to name a few.
5. I like challenges and thinking til my brain hurts.
6. I don't like tight pants.
7. I'm still stoked for marriage.
8. There's this guy and yeahhhhh.  Nothing.
9. I miss Jacob V & Courtney G.
10. SPU & Whitworth & Eastern & BEARS!  Oh my.  Yes, Bears.  No, that's not the mascot. 
11. School stinks.  Somedays.
12. I love my mother. 
13. I love my grandmother. 
14. I love almonds.
15. Domino's pizza is goood.
16. Seattle has too many one ways.
17. I'm happy.
18. My 6 months are up the day I go to Ireland.  I'm growing up so quickly. :,(