I Will Exalt, I think.

Last year, at this time, I was getting drunk in the hopes of feeling something.

And all it ever did was make me feel more alone.

I'd like to think everything has changed, but maybe it hasn't.

It took everything in me to turn down weed the other day, even if I have made commitments to live a certain way.

But on the bright side, I'm realizing love guided by emotions isn't really love at all. 

I have to make the choice to love people. 

I have to make the choice to not push you away, again, because you don't meet my ridiculous expectations. 

I have to make the choice to love Jesus, even when I feel as if he's just some far off deity that doesn't really hear my prayers or heal. I won't always live in Christian community. But I do now. 

And after two weeks at home, I'm already beginning to doubt everything I experiened over the past 3 months. 

I don't want faith to be a feeling or a sensation built on what I experience when I'm surrounded by people that claim to love You, and hear You, and do Your will.

Prove Yourself Faithful, if it's not too much to ask.

I already have my fair share of trust issues. 

But I trust in You.

This is how it works. I think.

I just think there's something to be said for the vulnerable. 

My heart might shatter much more easily then I would like, but I'd rather feel things too deeply than not at all.

I don't believe loving someone could ever go to waste. 

I might say I love you too easily, and I might put my heart on the line only to have it run over by a runaway train, but I'd rather love people relentlessly, because they deserve it, than give up. 

I am in my feelings tonight.

Damn you, Coldplay. 

Are we there yet?

I shouldn't have to work this hard for a friendship. 

If you really wanted to be around me, you would be. 

And that's all I have to say about that. 

If I stay in one place, I lose my mind.

There will always be some longing within my soul to get very lost in the woods and to never find my way out. 

Living for the Thrill of It.

I like having a blog.

It's like maybe, if I put these words out there, for the world to see, the one person they are written about will see them too.

And then all the emotions I bottle up, and hold back, will already be out there for the world to feel.

And there would be nothing I could do to stop it.