Okay, we get it.

You're beautiful. 

Now stop posting pictures of your beautiful self on Facebook. 

Demons.

It isn't the storm that makes the ocean dangerous. 

When I think of us..

I think of teamwork. 

And commitment.

And disliking the same people for the same reasons.

And respect.

And an acceptance of who we each are as a person.

And giggles.

And late night tea dates accompanied by deep conversations, and good morning kisses, and shared responsibilities, and equality without submission, and bookstores, and road trips, and big dogs, and porch swings, and organic foods, and gardens, and real Christmas trees, and raising children, and just building a life together. 

It still seems far, but it does seem possible. 

Words of Wisdom.

"I guess in the end, things seldom end up as you expect. Sometimes, fate is on your side. Other times, well, you've kind of sealed your own fate. Either way, you have to trust that whatever's supposed to happen, will happen. Besides, somehow you always seem to end up with the person you're supposed to be with."

-J.D.

Season 3 of Scrubs.

Top 5 Loves.

In no specific order.

-Children 

-Adventures, travels, and new sights

-Making people happy

-Music

-Good Conversation that generally leads to a more optimistic outlook on life, and less loneliness.

Why Am I The One.

I used to think about the type of person I wanted to be when I was in a relationship, and I always thought I wasn't ready to be in a relationship, because I wasn't that person yet.

And I was just thinking that maybe you can't be that person ever, or completely prepare yourself for anything. You just have to take the leap, because perfection will never come. 

And while thinking all these things, I also thought about how I am more of the person I want to be around you. But how you also accept me for the person I am. 

I think I'm trying to say everything is easier when you're dating your best friend. 

Let's just go with that. 

Penny for Your Thoughts.

Every time something terrible happens, I think the end of the world must be coming soon. 
Because how much sadness can one world bare?

Then, I remember that the killing and the hate, those have always gone on.

And the only person who has lived long enough to see it all is God.

And if my heart breaks from the things I've seen, then His loving, full of mercy heart must be shattered.

And this is where my issues begin. 

I don't think He's here at all. I believe He exists. I just would like to believe that if He had the power to control any of these things, they wouldn't be happening. 

I won't let you break me.

"To hell with them. Nothing hurts if you don't let it."

-Ernest Hemingway

When I go.

Make the Most.

For a while, I didn't understand why things were happening the way they were, because my life was defined by how happy I felt. 

And without you, I didn't feel happy at all.

But being here, my eyes have been opened to a lot of things, and I've really been inspired by the people I've met. 

My two best friends here are lesbians. And they have more love for each other than most of the straight couples I know. And to get married, they will have to drive 13 hours to Maryland. Then, when they come back to Georgia, the state will refuse to acknowledge that they are legally married. The South still has so many prejudices that they are judged everywhere they go, but that doesn't stop them. I wish I could have an ounce of the courage they have; to be so open about who they love, when so much of the bible belt society considers their actions "sinful," and feels the need to express their judgement. I was raised by a gay man, so I've never even thought twice about the fact that some people in the world think that the love two women or men have for each other could be based on something other than love. And I don't think I've ever openly said it, but I think people are born gay and lesbian, I don't think they choose to be that way. And some of my religious issues stem from this, but I'm keeping those to myself this time.

I was also really blessed with a second job, that I should really thank my aunt for, because it is the greatest job there ever could be. I get to spend my mornings hanging out with a 20 month old girl named Isabelle, and a 6 year old boy named Ben. Not only are they the sweetest kids ever, but their mom is also one of a kind. We quickly bonded over our love of FUN, and since then, we've bonded over everything in between. I've vented to her for literally hours, about everything from how stupidly difficult and expensive the adoption process can be, to how dumb it is that the South can't accept standards the rest of the US has grown to accept. She knows my frustrations, my dreams, my beliefs, my fears, and I also know hers. I guess in a way, without actually doing it, I was hoping and praying for someone to come along who would listen and understand, and also inspire me. And she's done all those things. 

So even though I miss my friends, and I miss you, so much that it hurts, I'm trying to say that it hasn't been all bad. 

It's actually turned into an incredible 4 months. 

But i'm ready to come home now.

One May Die So Lonely.

Remind me again just what you were saying

When you walked in the room, when the music was playing

When I was lost too, but in my own thoughts

and I could not find you.

Tell me your story, I'm listening this time

I can get us some glasses and a bottle of wine

We can sit on the carpet, sit on the table or sit on the moon

You can reach for my hand 

You can say what you like

Or just what you just can't stand

Be aboy or a little old man, be what you want, even nothing at all

Just Be with me

Why not forgive us, quit holding your breath 

You reach with your right hand like it's all that's left

With a knock of the door

But I love all your ankles

You fall on my floor

You roll your eyes

You're so sick of this

Gave me the bracelet I placed on your wrist

you lost it and lets face it 

I think we both lost it

a little bit

I know you're living in London

Cause you keep on complaining 

where is the sunshine, it always is raining

It's all I am hearing, skies ain't clearing

Your eyes keep on tearing 

You're missing New York

But do you miss me?

Do you miss our talks?

Do you miss our touching and our midnight walks? 

Do you miss the ocean?

Do you miss the sand?

Do you miss me at all, miss seerman?

And

I have to laugh like crazy

I really think you're crazy

You might as well ask me if the hot day's hazy

If you left I still maybe 

Have I ever laid lazy with you on the grass

Lets get something straight 

Cause I really do hate

This feeling that's growing 

To think you're not knowing

Wherever I may run 

Even if it's dumb

I love only you

You are the only one

So it really doesn't matter

If I'm sorta having fun

If for a cruel, split second

I get a glimpse of the sun

Whether singing on the stages or filling up the pages

Something's undone

And this song ends here

Cause you're really, really weird

We haven't said a word in over a year

It just gives me hope

like music is a rope 

to hold you right here

And I'm sorry for these lines, 

and  I'm sorry for my crimes

and I'm sorry for the oceans I sails all the times

if i ever gave you something it probably was the notion 

I"ll never give you nothing, but a very hard time  

-Jaymay

Dry Your Tears.

I have the inability to show love for my father, because he has the inability to give a damn about me.

But I'm taking that out on people I shouldn't.

I feel bad for you. Because even though I hated that you got to have the dad i wanted around, it turns out he wasn't the father he should have been to either of us.

And whether I like it or not, we are sisters.

So I promise to try. 

I think I was searching for a resolution, for a problem that doesn't exist.

Giving Up.

Somewhere in the world, a man is dying. 

And he's counting on God to be healed. He's hopeful. He's hoping to pull through for his beautiful, loving, fiance, incredible, talented daughter, and good looking dog. 

And guess what? 

It's happening all over the world.

Hearts are breaking, children are being raped and abused, and people are getting killed for their religious beliefs, ethnicity, and sexuality. 

And I really would like to believe in a Saviour. 


But I'm just not sure I do anymore. 

I would give up everything.

To see you happy.