Here it is, Officially.

I'll be moving to Georgia at the end of July.

I won't really believe it until we've packed everything up, loaded it into a U-haul, and are pulling out of the Northwood Apartments parking lot and onto Pacific Ave.

I'm terrified, but don't tell anyone.

I'm trying to be brave for Joey.

Disgusted.

Money can't buy you love, but it will keep that girl you like around, provided you keep buying her things.

How messed up is that?

Grown-Up Things.

I was doing a grown-up thing, ironing my clothes, when I BURNT MYSELF!

Gah, I'm never trying another grown-up thing again!

and all my clothes will be wrinkly from here on out.

Contemplating.

I was thinking about qualities I really like in people.

I really like listeners.
I really like laughers.
I really, really like smilers.

I like when people are genuinely nice to everyone they meet.

I love when I see people that go out of their way to help someone else.

I guess these are more of the things I should focus on, if I'm putting a focus on guys at all.

I'm kind of looking back on senior year and questioning why I did what I did.

It's not that I regret it, I just think it was crazy to be so infatuated with someone who I knew was nothing I ever wanted or will ever want.

I guess that's part of growing up too, huh?

It's all downhill from here.

Here I am again,
Worrying I won't have enough time, except this time, I really won't.

When I leave, I don't know when I'll be back.

I just want to spend every moment doing something, because my time in this beautiful state with these beautiful people I love is about to end.

I need you so much closer.

For the first time, you're not the person I want to talk to about this.

I was watching the E Investigation of The Powell Murder.

Those were beautiful kids.

It still breaks my heart to think that somebody could do that to any kid, but especially their own.

I've never wished bad things on anyone, but I wish he could have died without taking his children with him.

I wish he would have died the first time he tried to take his own life at the age of 14.

That's the worst thing I've ever said...

Out of chances.

I like babies.

Sometimes, it makes me sad for people to think of them as a burden.

I guess if I were in her shoes, I would think of it like that.

I just wonder if he's worth it.

I wonder if any girl that gave up her virginity to a guy in the hopes of keeping him around ended up happy.

 Or do they all just end up pregnant?


Maybe my own problem is I place too much emphasis on the end results.

I don't know what I'm trying to say, but I hope things work out for the best.

It still hurts, sometimes.

Bored.

Today, I moped around and checked facebook about 50 million times only to see that no one did anything of interest in the past 10 minutes.

That's the thing I don't like about summer.

I'm such a busy body. I hate having nothing to do.

On the bright side, I start work tomorrow.

Another summer of saving lives? I think yes.

People don't always keep their promises.

Last night, my mom, my aunt, my cousin and I sat around and talked about how great it's going to be when we get to Georgia.

This is what I've always wanted.

Now, I'm not so sure.

A few years ago, I blogged about how the two halves of my heart are 3,000 miles apart from each other, but that wasn't true.

If you think family wise, then yes, it's pretty evenly split.
But when you add in all the people I've come to love and that I call family, there's no doubt, 3/4's of my heart is in Washington.

When I couldn't sleep last night, I looked through all the old pictures on my phone that date back to 7th grade.

Then, I had this thought.

I don't want new friends. I have the best I could ask for.

That's never been my attitude about anything. The more, the merrier, ya know?

I am terrified to lose the people I love.

I know I'm going to leave, and eventually my friends are going to get married, and possibly have children, and get jobs and all that jazz, and I want to know about these things. I want to be there for all the people that mean something to me during these landmark events in their lives, but that's just not possible, and that makes me cry.

I guess a small part of me is also scared to be forgotten about.



Miley Cyrus was wrong. You can't get the best of both worlds.

Plans.

I'll be moving to Georgia in 46 days.

That leaves me 46 days to do all the things I want to do with all the people I want to do them with.

I'm not ready to leave.

L.I.F.E.G.O.E.S.O.N.

"On my last night on earth, I won't look to the sky.
Just breathe in the air and blink in the light.
On my last night on earth, I'll pay a high price
To have no regrets and be done with my life."

I don't have much to say, but I really liked this part of the song.

I'm ready, I think.

I'm sitting here in journalism, waiting for Mrs. Brown to come back, so I can send out this paper.

How many blogs have I written in this very room?

A lot.

How many blogs have I read in this room while avoiding work?

Even more.

This will be the last blog I write from Mrs. Brown's room and most likely the last blog I write while on the WHS Campus.

I guess I should write about farewells or something, but I'm not in the mood to get into all of that.

I'm more concerned with thinking of all the things I should be doing, instead of this.

I don't think it will click that I'm never coming back to this school until my stuff is loaded in a U-haul and my family hops on 1-5 South.

I'm ready, I am.